Embarrassed about how I acted and loosing confidence as a rider. Help?

get it out of your head. The more you think on this the more mistakes ur gonna make. Clear your head. Mentally start fresh. In my lifetime of riding i cannot tell you how many times ive fallen off. Big damaging falls(my right shoulder is smaller than the left because of the scar tissue ive accumalated there) and small falls that you laugh about. Ive cried on a horse, ive fallen and due to the horse running over me had to walk back with no pants (now its funny -then it wasnt) and you know what ? I wouldnt change it. Ive fallen so much im not scared anymore. You go through these weird patches when it everything feels like its off...then you come right again. All of these experiences are gold to your experience. A top competing rider who has never fallen off or cried or gotten mud on their shoes still has less experience as you. Experience is not the level you compete at or how perfectly you can ride its the amount of **** youve put up with and survived.